Are you suffering from Rushing Woman's Syndrome?
By Dr Libby Weaver
For many women, it doesn’t matter whether they have two or 200 tasks on their to-do list, they’re in a pressing rush to do it all. And they rarely feel like they are in control or on top of any of it. Even more so in the lead up to your big day, it can feel like you are constantly one step ahead or behind yourself at any given moment, always a bit frantic, with thoughts that race and jump from task to task.
Perhaps you’re driven by a worry that you will be judged if you don’t get enough done today – or by an internal judge who is never satisfied. Maybe it’s that you will be judged as not thoughtful, kind, competent, capable, or hard working enough; not a good enough partner, employee, friend, daughter. Maybe you’re driven by an unrelenting desire for your wedding day to be ‘perfect’ and whether you admit it or not, you’re deeply worried about what people will think of how you look or how your special day unfolds.
And so, you rush. You rush because you believe that any time not spent accomplishing a task is time wasted and you do this because you perceive that your worth is tied up with your achievements and what others will think of you if you accomplish x, y and z. Plus, there are multiple moments on most days, when you think to yourself that no one has any idea how much you do – they can’t imagine what’s on your plate – which may or may not be true.
If any or all of this is familiar to you, it’s possible you have what I fondly refer to as Rushing Woman’s Syndrome. This isn’t a real medical diagnosis, of course. It’s a term I phrased ten years ago as I was first witnessing a momentous change in the pace of everyday living and the significant health challenges that were following. Back then, this incessant need to rush and to be all things to all people was just beginning to emerge. A decade on and the rush seems to be the norm now. We’ve just accepted that life is to be lived at this relentless pace and tend to feel inadequate if we can’t keep up.
If you’re in the grips of the rush, it may feel like there is simply no other possible way to live, yet this is simply not true. If the pace at which you are living is not working for you, your body will be signalling to you that it desires change. Here are three signs that might be familiar to you.
You feel tired yet wired, more often than not
Coffee is likely your best friend, and you feel like you ‘need’ it before your brain will function properly. Yet because it drives adrenaline production, a cup (or three) can make everything feel urgent, when in reality, only two of your 200 tasks might require your prompt attention. So you zoom through your day feeling like there aren’t enough hours while also wondering how this will ever be any different. By the time you sit down at the end of the day (if you allow yourself to), you feel fatigued but also wired from the busy day and you want alcohol to help you wind down. Sleep is either a struggle to achieve or restless, and so perpetuates this vicious cycle.
Sleep is either a struggle to achieve or restless
Anxiousness and stress (along with caffeine), and the consequent stress hormones they foster, can greatly impact on your body’s ability to fall into a deep restful sleep. Your body thinks it is doing you a great big favour by preventing restorative sleep. The biochemistry of the rush means that your body perceives you are in perpetual physical danger. You aren’t, of course, but your body doesn’t know the difference between what you believe to be true and what is actually true and so it keeps you in a semi-alert state through the night to keep you safe.
Your body is asking you to listen to it
Our bodies don’t have a voice and so they communicate to us via symptoms to let us know what isn’t working. This starts off as a whisper and gets louder unless we make changes. A rushing woman’s body may be quietly nudging or blaring symptoms to get her attention, depending on where she is in her journey. This could be anything from IBS, bloating or other digestive complaints to recurring headaches, monthly menstrual challenges, thyroid symptoms (sometimes despite normal blood test results), anxiousness, sleep struggles, unexplained weight gain, persistent fatigue or brain fog. We’ve come to accept that poor energy, niggling symptoms and irritated or anxious head spaces are just part of modern living. They’re not. And you have a choice.
To make fewer stress hormones, you might like to begin by considering your caffeine consumption and reducing it. Perhaps take a break from it in the lead up to your wedding day and notice how much more energy you have without it. Increase your intake of green leafy vegetables too, as they contain a range of nutrients that can help with the stress response as well as help us to relax. And become breath aware. See if you can create rituals across your day where you do 20 long, slow breaths – aim for six breaths per minute. Slow, nasal breathing lowers stress hormones and activates the calm arm of the nervous system.
Dr Libby has just released her ‘Overcoming Rushing Woman’s Syndrome’ 30-day online course designed to teach you how to truly reduce your stress—and the negative health consequences it can elicit—while living a full and thriving life. www.drlibby.com/courses
